Vilifying our fellow humans? There's a better way.

Welcome to Issue #11. Today, we dig into our lawyerly desire for control.   

How does our desire for control perpetuate (or worse, exacerbate) conflict? Can we practice disarming conflict?

Can we advocate for what's good and right without struggle?

Is this just new age idealism? What does this have to do with us as lawyers?

First, control:

When used *responsibly, control arises as discipline. It is characterized by clear limits and guidance that empowers - like that of a firm, loving parent.

At the other extreme: muscling power over another person, a situation, or even our own minds - and typically, with brute force and/or vilification (politics, war). Internally, think of rigid self-restrictions and harsh internal language. 

Despite our illustrious logic and clever points, curiously, our opponent digs their heels in. So we do, too. 'Round and 'round we go. This is the cycle of (verbal) violence. And, it is insane.

In our Inner Circles, we operate from guidelines drawn from the field of nonviolence: we seek to understand, not be understood.

Example: someone shares a personal challenge, and it activates someone else. Do we vilify them, build our "case," build alliances, and so on? No, no, and no.

Instead, in our Circles, we ask questions. Result? Understanding. Consensus. Connection. This is real power - not fear-based control.

"In a deeply interconnected world, there is no 'other.'" - Anand Gandhi

If you are interested in learning more about the heroes who inform our approach, I have left a starting primer in the post script below.

Drop me a note if you have any questions, and we'll talk. 

You guessed it: I'm curious what you think. 

xo,

R

P.S. For further learning:

(NPR) How One Man Convinced 200 Ku Klux Klan Members To Give Up Their Robes

(Vox) This filmmaker spent months interviewing neo-Nazis and jihadists. Here’s what she learned. // (TED) What we don't know about Europe's Muslim kids

(Book) Strangers in Their Own Land Anger and Mourning on the American Right

P.P.S. Women in BigLaw: Do you want to grow where everybody knows your name? If so, join us on Thursday, January 9 at 2pm ET for Experience an Inner Circle. Tomorrow, I announce our incredible faculty! Stay tuned.