What's waiting on the other side of Asking For Help (when you pass Cringe)

Hi gang, 

Welcome to Issue #9. Let's dig into asking for help; not so easy for us high achievers.

Story:

In one of our programs, a woman shared (privately) that she keeps shying away from "going for it." 

She procrastinates on her BD plan, instead doing busy work to avoid the discomfort in stretching herself. 

She's frustrated. And, her frustration wasn't getting her unstuck. She needed outside help.

At our meetings:

First, everyone listened to her thoroughly, and then asked clarifying questions (no cross examination nor advice giving allowed). She feels understood as her concerns are validated: she remembers, with relief, that this is normal.

Next, the experience-sharing begins.

A few gems shared:

→ "I deliberately watercolor with my kids to remember that this (BD? Life? Doesn't matter) is all just an adventure, an experiment."

→ "I journal about what scares me, and then I 'switch roles" and speak to the fearful sides of myself with kindness. I pretend I'm my own mentor. It's changing what I see as possible - not just in my BD obstacles, but everywhere."

→ "Having an accountability partner helps me do hard things. And, to be honest, I'm not exactly raising my hand for the stand up work, either. Do you want to buddy up and check in with each other on this?"

Result?

The woman face visibly relaxes: clearly, something clicked (whether or not she announces to the group what resonated).

She's chosen her path out, and she's back on a path of her own choosing, headed straight back to her power. 

Like I love to say, "With women lawyers: you get empathy plus strategy."

It's the literal best.

xo,

R

P.S. Women in BigLaw, join me & the incredible Afi Johnson-Parris for the next installment of our webinar + networking series on Thursday, December 5, at 3PM ET (image was a live link to register in the original email):