Stop trying to fit in. You're too good.

 Hi gang, 

Welcome to Issue #17.

Here’s a truth too many lawyers learn the hard way: Downplaying your identity is leaving the most unique, special parts of you unknown to your clients.

Is this you?

Your firm's decor and culture is reserved, formal, and conservative.

The partnership makeup is dominated by people who "look a certain way."

You attend a bar event and feel like you're on the outside. 

In work settings like these, the pressure to conform is so intense. You're completely normal if you hold back and/or downplay your personality, your culture, your heritage or any other difference.

But here's the thing: in doing so, you forgo a golden opportunity to attract interest in what you have to say. 

Stepping into your identity isn't a "learning" process; you're already you.

It's an unlearning of all the social conditioning around us. 

In our community, later this year, I'll be offering masterclasses on stepping into your identity - I will keep you posted when those go live. 

For today, though, here are four prompts to nudge you toward more authenticity in your networking and rainmaking. Overachievers: choose one.

1. Tell your story in a way that resonates. Your background, your experiences, your journey—it all shapes how you show up. Use it.

2. Find common ground across differences. A shared interest, a cultural touchpoint, a personal anecdote—connection builds trust. The goal is that you learn to share about your unique trait/s in such a way that you - and they - feel more at ease, with no one walking on eggshells or downplaying something special. 

3. Show them why you belong at the table. Does your background give you unique market insight? Insider access? A fresh perspective? Make it clear.

4. Own your authority. Frame your story in a way that highlights your expertise. What challenges has your journey prepared you to navigate?

Identify one move you can make to move the ball in this direction. Then calendar it. Tell a friend, or a trusted peer, so you can access support as things will get uncomfortable. 

Warning: they will get uncomfortable. That means you're growing!

Remember: 

If we're going to rewrite the game, and create an industry - and a world - where people of all backgrounds feel welcome and included, it starts with each of us, right now, taking up space as our full selves. 

And, don't obsess about doing it "perfectly."

Upskilling in this area is a journey, full of trial and error like any other. 

Why bother?

Pretending to be someone else is exhausting.

It also sets your rainmaking efforts back. Why?

When you obscure your most interesting, unique traits, you sacrifice your magnetism in favor of conformity.

By choosing to play it "safe," you are safe - in losing.

In contrast, what if you brought the full, real you to bear?

Can you see how it'd be fun to reclaim her? 

xo,

Rachel

P.S. BigLaw women:  If you're curious what it would be like to work with me, join me & my colleague Elena Deutsch, founder of Women Interested in Leaving (big) Law, for my first LI Live on Thursday at 12:30pm ET.