What conversation are *you avoiding?
Hi gang,
Welcome to Issue #14.
In setting certain boundaries. it's important to keep in mind that we don't (1) know the outcome; and, (2) we don't control it, either.
Today, I'd like to share with you a quick, inspiring story about what could go right when we set a boundary at work that protects our time.
(Starring several of our subscribers 📸👋).
Story:
Junior partner in BigLaw comes to one of our "Experience an Inner Circle" events in November, that I co-led with the incredible Megan Fouty (GC and CHRO of Glowforge, Founder of Diversity University, author of Art of Networking, Board member for Providence Pediatric Hospice).
We did a "giving circle," where everyone shares an "ask" of the group, and a "give" in response.
Junior partner shares that she is spending a lot of time training others, cutting into her production and rainmaking.
Senior partner in attendance asks junior partner if she is being compensated for this training she is doing, which benefits the firm.
Answer: she is not.
Junior partner just had a blind spot uncovered. 👀
Uh-oh. What happened next?
Today, she spilled the tea.
She approached her practice group chairs, telling me:
I set the meeting and was like, "Here's what's going on. You're all not paying attention because you're doing trial, trial, trial. Here's what our group needs to stay afloat, build and succeed:
(Names specific hires/promotions she wants for the team).
I got those approvals.
And, it hasn't posted on the website yet, but:
I'm going to be named like the Head of __ Litigation.
(mic drop, followed by me shouting:
YESSSSS!!!
Lesson/s:
We all have blinds spots, especially where a challenging conversation is due and easily postponed or avoided. And,
We can't control other's reactions, but:
We can control ourselves.
We can borrow from others' wisdom, strength, and gutsiness.
We can "emulate her pluck" until we become her.
Takeaways:
1. Instead of isolating, share with a colleague about a situation where you feel stuck.
2. People love to help one another; it's how we're wired. Collaborate until you arrive at the right "script" that works for you (such as the italicized words of our new head of litigation (😉) above).
3. Prepare by practicing, and most importantly, proceed to:
4. Have the conversation. After all, you could be our next:
→ Equity partner,
→ Board member,
→ Rainmaker, or
Head of Litigation. 😘
Our fears can blind us, but we can solve for that: it's not a dead end. Are you ready to build your muscles in this area?
Free next Friday p.m. (everyone) and/or the following Thursday (BigLaw only)? Register with the links below. ⬇️
xo,
Rachel
P.S. BigLaw women: Interested in your peers' experiences becoming your shortcuts, so you can start setting better boundaries and grow your book? Curious what an Inner Circle could look like for you? Join me on Thursday, January 30 at 2pm ET and Experience an Inner Circle for yourself.
P.P.S. Everyone: Join me on Friday, January 24 at 3pm ET for a Everything is Interconnected: How Lawyers Can Break Free to Achieve Sustainable Success with lawyer coach and author Gary Miles, Esq. where we'll spill the tea on the secret to long term, sustainable growth: releasing control.
1. Hear each of our personal stories of letting go of control;
2. Learn our recommended mindset shifts; and,
3. Leave with recommended strategies and resources.
